• BUILD A RELATIONSHIP

Everyone likes to talk about what “theoretical orientation background” they come from. How they use the most up to date techniques and insights to provide change. Most prospective clients are not going to understand what this means though. DBT, CBT, it all sounds nice, but what benefit does it bring to me?

While some techniques are more beneficial than others when tackling certain areas of concern, the MOST important part of therapy is the RELATIONSHIP between clinical and client.

My hope with every client is to get to know you. I want to know your struggles of course, but I also want to know your strengths. I want to know what your motivation is to be better tomorrow, next week, and for the rest of your life. I want to know your hopes, dreams, and interests.

A good relationship, the research finds, is essential to helping the client connect with, remain in and get the most from therapy. “It’s primary in the sense of being the horse that comes before the carriage, with the carriage being the interventions,” says Simon Fraser University emeritus professor Adam O. Horvath, PhD, who studies the therapy alliance.

If you would like to read the rest of the article you can find it here https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-relationships

• CREATE MUTUALLY AGREED UPON GOALS

This is your therapy session not mine. You are ultimately the expert in your own life, I am just a trained guide. There is no way to know everything about you and create a perfect plan therefore I will need your input into everything that we do. Throughout our sessions, we create goals by breaking down your thoughts and feelings into smaller and more detailed actions that you can begin doing to improve your situation.

Turning vague ambiguous statements into specific points to tackle.

An example of this can look like a client stating “I feel anxious about my future with my significant other because I know I am letting them down.” Through further exploration, we may uncover that a tangible goal to work on is “Schedule more date nights, include them more in decisions made in the household, and to be more vocal with them when I worry about day to day struggles.”

• STAY MOTIVATED AND BE ACCOUNTABLE

Lastly, if we have been able to develop a good working relationship and have some mutually agreed upon goals, it is my responsibility to both hold you accountable and motivated in working towards those goals. Progress is not always going linear and it may look more like a roller coaster, but consistent effective work is the aim. If you are experiencing barriers, let’s process them. If the skills aren’t working let’s identify new ones. If it is a motivation problem, let’s get to the root of the self-doubt. Celebrating victories is also important too, so if everything is going well, time to pat yourself on the back! This is where we seek to push back against doubts and instead encourage talk that facilitates change.

I am not a closed off classically trained clinician that consistently repeats “and how does that make you feel?”  

My style of therapy is centered around being conversational, practicing empathy, being relatable, giving and providing feedback, and when it fits, a healthy dose of humor or sarcasm. LIFE IS HARD! I will let you vent, support you in your struggles, but will also be there to push you towards change. My clients often feel like they have a lot of pressure on them either self-inflicted or by others. Often, people want to feel like they aren’t the only ones going through struggles, want to develop and feel connection to others, and find ways to take off pressure 

My approach to therapy is simple. Ted Lasso once said, “Be Curious Not Judgmental” and that phrase has really resonated with me throughout my approach. Curiosity encourages you to look deeper, ask questions, and seek understanding. If you can do this while being non-judgmental, it allows you to be an investigator seeking answers regardless of where it takes you.  

Most people judge themselves too harshly, so there’s no reason that I would want to add to it. I seek to show others how to give yourself a break. We all have doubts, fears, and regrets. How do we move forward and be successful despite these challenges are my clients’ biggest hopes for their future.